The Dark Side of Light Bulbs

Richard had a meltdown last Thursday night. OK, so that's nothing new. But this time he smacked a lamp on his dresser and the light bulb hit the wall and shattered. Granted, if the lamp shade was actually on the lamp, it probably wouldn't have broken. Yes, a shattered light bulb is a major pain to clean. Throw in the fact that the shattered light bulb was one of those swirly, fluorescent bulbs and it goes from being a major pain to being a MAAAAYJORRRR PAAAAAIIIINNN!!!!
After one of those light bulbs is broken, step #1 is to immediately open a window and leave the room shutting the door behind you so that the room can air out for at least 15 minutes. Remember not to inhale while doing this. Next, dress yourself in long pants and a long sleeved shirt or even better, a pair of coveralls if you have them. Put on disposable gloves that will fit snug over your sleeves and wear a face mask if you have one to keep from inhaling the poisons that were once inside the swirly bulb. Then get yourself a glass jar with a metal lid and pick up as many pieces of the light bulb as you can and put them inside the jar. Go get the duct tape and use it to pick up any pieces that were too small for you to grab with your glvoed hands. Wipe everything around the broken light bulb down with a disposable wet cloth. It is strongly recommended that you DO NOT use a vacuum cleaner. However, if you have carpet then you HAVE to vacuum. If so, vacuum over and over and over again making sure not to inhale anymore that you absolutely have to. Then remove the vacuum bag and place it in a sealed plastic container/bag. If you have a canister vacuum like me, you are to empty the contents into a plastic bag and seal. Be sure to wipe out the vacuum canister inside and out with disposable wet cloths over and over again. Put the sealed glass jar and sealed bags together in another trash bag and call the city to find out if there is someplace in particular you should take this stuff for proper disposal. OK folks, I'm ALL for saving energy and not polluting our planet. On the other hand, I'm also for NOT having to go through this every time a light bulb is broken. By the way, did you know that even if one of those bulbs doesn't break but just burns out that you have to contact your city to find out where to dispose of them? You can't just unscrew it and throw it in the trash. To the environmentalists out there I apologize, but I'm going back to regular old light bulbs and to doing my part in burning up my own little spot in the ozone layer.